Sin, when it is finished.

 

I remember the conversation. We were approaching my parents' neighborhood, stopped at a red light, my mother in the driver's seat of our latest in a long run of blue mini vans. She was scolding me, or maybe warning me, about how later in life I was going to regret the decisions I was making as a teenager.

Vividly, I remember thinking, "You don't know me. You don't know how I feel. I won't regret any of this." 

She was speaking in generalities. She didn't have the specifics. She didn't know which sins she was bringing to mind.

Sin. My sin.

James 1 says,

"Blessed in the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his lust, and enticed.

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death."

 

If I have sin, tucked away, that hasn't brought forth death yet, I promise you, it just isn't finished yet. The Bible promises that sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. 

Later, in the same chapter, James tell us,

"But be ye doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves."

I've always known the truth, and maybe so have you. If I'm only hearing the truth, but not living it, I'm deceiving myself. 

In the book of Numbers, the Lord gives His children a task and says, 

"But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord: and be sure your sin will find you out."

I can be sure, even if it hasn't found me out, yet: My sin will find me out. Even if it's been half my life since the sin began, if it hasn't brought forth death yet, it isn't finished. 

As someone who knows the truth, and is familiar with Scripture, James has another warning for me,

"Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin."

The weight of knowing the right thing and not doing it. The sin, piling up.

And then, Jesus, speaking of religious people, who outwardly pretend to be doing the right thing, but inwardly are sinning, lying to themselves and those around them.

"Beware ye of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.

 

For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known.

 

Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops."

 

The specific sin that came to mind at that stoplight has been a long time coming, unfinished in my life. Recently, I'm reaping the heartache and hurt that I, at the time, willing, sowed. 

I'm posting this as a testimony and a warning. Maybe you're a teen who thinks, "It's not that bad. No one will ever know." Or maybe you're an adult, who needs the reminder that there is nothing covered that shall not be revealed. 

He is a God of justice.

"He is the Rock, his work is perfect: For all his ways are judgement: a God of truth and without iniquity, Just and right is he."

"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I'm thankful that God is just and right, and that even though I could never earn His forgiveness, He can forgive me, through his Son, Jesus Christ, when I confess, repent, and turn away from my sin. 

I'll leave you with this: Rand Hummel says, "You can choose your sin, but you can not choose the consequence of your sin."

So often we think we have it handled. So few people know. Who does it hurt? But the longer you keep sin in the dark, the more people it hurts when it is brought to the light.

 

For Sale (Part 5)

 

We had our Christmas card photoshoot scheduled for the Tuesday that the offers would be evaluated. When the photographer asked where we wanted to take pictures, I told her I wanted to head towards the house we had offered on, and Lord willing, take some pictures of our family in front of the house once we found out our offer was accepted.

Our whole week was like that. Psalm 81:10 says, "I am the LORD thy God which brought thee out of the land of Egypt; Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it." So, we actively took steps in faith that our offer would be accepted. We painted through every room of our house, cleaning, decluttering, and packing up boxes in our current home to get ready to put it on the market. We didn't look through the real estate apps to see if anything else interesting was up for sale. We sold the Camaro for extra cash towards the down payment. Matt tore up and replaced the deck (with help!) to get our backyard market ready.

Our mouths were open, ready for God to fill them. When my phone rang on Tuesday, I can honestly say there wasn't a piece of me that doubted. God was going to prove Himself bigger than cash offers and a bidding war. He was going to show Himself mighty to our family, our children, our realtor, friends, and the strangers who were invested in our journey online.

Our realtor summarized, "The cash offer sent in a month-old screenshot to prove funds. The sellers aren't comfortable with their offer...

I need to get you guys to pray for all of my houses! You've got it!"

God gave it to us: The direction to save for a down payment starting way back at the beginning of the year, the opportunity to offer on a home that was out of reach, and the winning bid when everyone was saying, "We don't have a shot."

It starts back before March, really. If God hadn't led us to pay off our first mortgage, and then worked out the timing in a way that only He could so we'd buy a cheap foreclosure January 2020 but then changed the market/scarcity/bidding wars so we'd get the maximum amount when we sold in summer 2020, and now our home is on the market for way more than we imagined we'd get a year and nine months later, we may have been able to take some credit; but, no, it was Him every step.

1st House: Bought for $109k . Sold for $179k.

2nd House: Bought for $191k. Selling for $300k.

Do you see how in 8 years, God took $109k and turned it into $300k, all while we got to live in and love on these houses?

So that $300k, plus the down payment God led us to save, will go towards the new house, and we will take on one last mortgage. Another part of the journey. A beautiful home to make ours and grow our babies in and host missionaries in and invite people into... Our forever home.

We have one full-price offer in, and rumor has it we're getting in a second offer today.

Someone on Instagram messaged me and said, "I'm not religious, but I told my husband, 'If this lady on Instagram gets this house, I'm gonna start praying!'"

Praise God for our mustard seed of faith and the mountains He moved to show Himself mighty!

Photography by Hannah Grace

For Sale (Part 4)

 

The other realtor had made a mistake. He had mixed up the houses he had on the market. There were two offers in on this home, but the home was not under contract. It never had been. The inspection scheduled for Friday was a different house. They were accepting offers. God had answered our prayers, and we had the chance to offer.

That day, we were out of state picking up materials for a building project our church is involved in. Matt had taken the day off, so we could drive as a family, load up this wood, and bring it back to the church. We were actively choosing to seek first God's kingdom, when he added this answer to prayer.

Here's a story I shared on Instagram when we found out:

Big faith. That's what God was giving us. That's the gift He was giving our girls. We believed, and He was helping our unbelief. We wrote up a full-price offer and asked for closing costs. We were on Cloud Nine.

They responded with, "Now that we have three offers, we're calling for Highest and Best. One of the offers is cash, and they're willing to come up to asking price. We'll give them til Tuesday to prove their funds (it was Friday)."

Our realtor explained the odds. To beat a cash offer, at this price point, we'd have to raise our offer by $75,000. I did the quick math. If we bought another house (that wasn't our forever home), and then moved again in 5-10 years, we'd be spending as much or more money total long term, so even though I could justify it logically, it was too much.

Matt was unmoved, "God has gotten us this far. We hold." We told them we'd cover closing costs, our realtor (and friend) gave up some of his commission to make our offer stronger, and we prayed until Tuesday.

During the waiting, God gave me the verses in Exodus 14:13-14: "And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will shew to you to day:... The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace."

While I was brushing Charlotte's hair that week, soft, blonde waves falling around her shoulders, she said to me, "Aren't you excited about the house, mom!? The kitchen is so big, we could feed a lot of people, and there's a lot of room for paper dolls, and I love the attic...!" I smiled at her and responded, "Yes! I love that house, Charlotte! But we aren't the only people who want it. Other people want to give them money for the house also." 

Charlotte thought for a moment, "Oh..."

And then with all the faith of a child she said, "But.. are they praying?"

For Sale (Part 3)

When I was 9 years old I had a shirt that said, "I can't be high maintenance, there's nothing to fix." Whether it's admirable or not, my personality has always leaned towards fancy things and strong opinions. It's something I have to keep prioritized, as I bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. It's not ungodly to have nice things (Job, Daniel, Joseph, Esther, the Proverbs 31 woman etc.), but the moment you make those things more important than faith in your God/obedience to His commands, you miss the mark.

When I lived in England for the semester, I had a fireplace in my bedroom. It gave off Pride and Prejudice or Downton Abbey vibes, both of which are ideal. This picture is a shot of the master bedroom in the house we toured that Monday. You can't see the two full baths, the walk-in closet, or the laundry room. It's the kind of room (on the first floor) that makes me stop and daydream about the life we could have lived here.

We walked from room to room that way, dropping the "love" word at every turn. The house was already under contract, but the walk-through confirmed for both Matt and I that it checked every box we'd ever had for our family. IN THIS POST  I wrote over eight years ago, I talked about how brick was ideal. How white houses with black shutters were ideal.

On one hand, the home wasn't updated recently, but on the other hand, it's the kind of home we wouldn't be able to afford if it were updated. Besides, if they had made updates (to the kitchen/bathrooms/flooring etc.), chances are I wouldn't love every decision, and I'd want to redo bits of it anyway to better match my taste. Our realtor also said that if you moved the house a quarter mile away to the next city, it would double the cost of house. The goodness of God piling up around us, putting the impossible within reach. But, still, under contract.

We began praying as a family that the house would fall out of contract, and we'd get the chance to offer on it. No ill will towards whoever had it under contract. Maybe they'd decide they didn't want to have to renovate a kitchen from the 80s, or they wanted to live on the water or something. As a couple, as a family, as individuals, out loud, and to ourselves, we prayed for the chance to offer on this home. From Monday to Friday, we prayed.

Our girls listened and watched and prayed along side us... I spoke about it publicly on Instagram. I wanted everyone to know that when we got the chance to offer on this house it wasn't just "we like it, and we can afford it" situation. God had to do it.

Matt was praying through the miracles in the Bible. Nothing is too hard for God. This was a small thing. Impossible for us to accomplish, but easy for God.

The home inspection on the house was scheduled for Friday. On Friday our realtor called us and said, "I'm about to blow your minds, guys. You're not going to believe this..." but the thing is, we did believe it. It was exactly what we'd been praying for.

For Sale (Part 2)

I drooled through the pictures when this house hit the market, and the next Family Night we had at my parents', we drove a little out of the way to drive through the neighborhood and pass it.

Matt said kind words with zero interest attached, and I didn't push it. It was a big jump from our current home and plan.

Six days later, I mentioned the house to my sister-in-law after church nursery, flipping through the listing photos.

We "oohed" and "ahhed" over the high ceilings and the fireplaces and that rounded staircase... It was all just for fun in my mind. How would I decorate each space? Where would I hang my favorite art pieces? 

At home, in bed, that Sunday night, Matthew turned to me and said, "Give me a tour of that house you were looking at." We looked at it together. An acre of land, a three car garage, the last move we'd ever want to make, and the opportunity to house hack (more to come on that)... Matt was dreaming with me, and actually considering this home!

Originally, when we were buying Mr. Coke's house, we planned to keep our current home to rent it out. This would put us at a mortgage around $300k. When I said to Matt, "If we sell our current home, we'd be in a similar financial situation, and we'd be in our forever home." Matt says that comparison was what helped him to see it as a viable option that made long-term financial sense.

It was Sunday night, and Matt said, "Let's go see it tomorrow!" I talked to our realtor, and he said it was still available. Monday morning we made sure we were prequalified, with the new house in mind, and told our realtor to set up the showing. He called in the afternoon to say, "Unfortunately, they accepted an offer this morning, but they said we can still walk through if we want..."

For Sale (Part 1)

I logged on to tell you about the wild path that God has led us on this year and how it has grown our faith.

Early this year, we began plans to build an addition on to our current home. We were going to add on to the master bedroom and also add a school room, specifically for homeschooling. It would be like a typical "second living room/den" but designed to hold bookshelves and house a couch and table for homeschooling. The master bedroom addition included several upgrades: a full bath (we didn't have an on-suite at our first apartment or house, and at our current house we have a half bath), a nursery attached (you may have noticed we tend to have a new baby every couple of years, and kids stay in cribs about that long), a walk-in closet, and a fireplace. God has given us the gift of babies and put the desire to homeschool our children in both of our hearts since childhood.

We drew out plans and called builders/contractors. They told us to start by getting our land surveyed, which we did. Next, to maximize the area where we were going to put the addition (and enjoy our yard more), we paid to have fourteen pine trees taken out. Later, our neighbors told us that was an answer to the prayer they had prayed when our house went up for sale in 2019. We planned to finish the addition (which Matt would largely do himself once we got past the foundation/frame) by September, to start the school year strong and be ready when the next baby came.

On a walk with a mama friend at the beginning of March, she mentioned a house in the neighborhood that was going up for sale later in the year. She was disappointed she couldn't wait that long to move, and I understood her interest! I'd always liked the exterior of that house. They do their landscaping well, and it has a set of dormers on the front (something I've always been attracted to). It's on the same block as my in-laws, and in our current neighborhood.

When I reached out to the owner, he confirmed. Yes, they were retiring this summer and moving out of state. Yes, they'd give us first dibs on the house. Yes, it had an extra living area downstairs (school room), a first floor master bath (no on-suite, but still it would nice to be separate from the kids), and an extra bedroom.

Our plans for the addition halted, and we began to save up money for a hefty down payment. We hadn't seen the inside or talked price, but we could prepare in that way while we waited!

Summer ended, and fall arrived. We found out we were expecting (a 4th girl!). The house on my in-law's street (let's call him Mr. Coke) got in touch. They were under contract for a house in Tennessee and things were moving forward. Still, not ready for us to tour or to offer us a price, but he wanted to keep us up to date. We started looking at loans, pre-qualifying and such. 

Then, Mr. Coke messaged once more to say his wife was having heart issues. The doctor said she shouldn't leave the area or have any stress in her life for the next six months. Understandably, now they weren't sure what their future held, which also affected our plans. With a baby due in February, we wondered about the plans God had set in motion. We had a down payment saved and the pre-qualification. 

Maybe God had another house for us?

We love the area we live in. We're less than ten minutes from both of our parents, we live central to the interstates in our area (Matt works all over Hampton Roads washing windows, so he heads all sorts of directions every day), we're closer to church than our last home was, and the city we live in has lower cost of housing than the neighboring city (which we live less than seven minutes from, and safety/crime is comparable). We had no interest/need to leave the area.

Then a house went up for sale within a half mile of our home...

Nomadic Nowaks

Because we don't know what God is going to do through our mission's trip to South Africa next year, we speak constantly in sentences like, "If we stay in America..."

We just honestly don't know what God wants to do with us this coming year.

When the truck was totaled in our front yard, God replaced it with a slightly newer, slightly bigger truck with less miles on it. It also came with a newfound towing capacity.

Recently we finished Chip and Joanna Gaines book The Magnolia Story, and we found their story inspiring. Chip is spontaneous, Joanna listens to God's still, small voice and obeys it, and they make a habit of pulling hard together in the same direction.

The missionaries we're going to visit in South Africa had mentioned that if we do end up going on deputation, having a camper allows your family to have some routine, which is especially important for families with young children.

Because we've paid off our mortgage, we had decided as a family that the next time we move, we want to pivot, debt free, from one house to another, without taking on a new mortgage. We could sell our home and stay with family while we search for a home in a better area, with a little more space to entertaining (dining room etc.), or explore other options like renting short term or buying a camper.

The Magnolia Story, the hit-and-run that totaled our truck, and the God-given command to live our life running hard from debt all came together this week, as we began to pursue finding a camper.

In our minds (though, we never quite know God's plan ahead of time, do we?), next year will go one of two ways:

1. We go to South Africa, and God makes it clear to Matthew as the head of our family that we are supposed to be cottage parents in Port Elizabeth. Then, we begin deputation in America, selling our home in Norfolk, going from church to church, pulling a camper as our home until we move over seas.
2.  We go to South Africa and come home ready to adopt/serve in our church/take teens on mission trips. Still ready to live somewhere else, we sell our home and move into the camper, waiting for the right home for our family.

The two things that both of those scenarios share are getting our home ready to sell for next year and buying a camper.

We got one of those done this week.

Matt was searching on his phone, and he said, "This one was just posted nine minutes ago." He tossed his phone across the room at me, and I caught it. When I looked at the screen, I saw that I had accidentally hit the "Message Seller" button with my catch.

The pictures showed a beautifully cared for camper, with two sets of bunk beds, one queen sized bed, and a couch and booth dining area that both transform into beds. My attitude was, "Let's go see it!"

Other people were able to get out to him before we did, and they offered him full-price offers, but because we were the first ones to (accidentally, God is fun!) message him, he honored us as first in line, and we were excited to bring this beauty home with us.

It's so well cared for and in such great shape, but if you know me, you know that these are the before photos. There's too much cream/brown and not enough white. I'm already dreaming big changes on a small budget, and I can't wait to show y'all the progress as we go along!

We're getting our house ready to sell and this camper ready to call home!

Excited about going tiny,
The Nomadic Nowak's

Sally Clarkson & Ruth Chou Simons

It was Sally Clarkson's book, Life-Giving Home, that recently pushed me to acknowledge seasons in my home decor. Her books about mothering resonated with me years back, inspiring me to beauty, highlighted to the hilt, and her podcast is a refreshing example of an older woman reaching down to teach the younger generation.

Ruth Chou Simons is a watercolor artist who showcases God's Truth in her work, beautifying the words, begging the world to stop and stare. Her Instagram account is a place of calm clarity, and her voice is one crying out into darkness. She is a bright sign, pointing to Jesus.

 So, when Sally Clarkson and Ruth Chou Simons came together to our area for a homeschool mom conference, my mother and I booked a hotel room and grabbed our tickets.

"The Word of God is the vocabulary God uses to speak to you." - Sally Clarkson

"Perfectionism is worshipping yourself as the goal, because you're saying, 'I want that more than anything! My Kingdom first!'" - Ruth Chou Simons

"The foundation can only be built in the beginning. Don't despise the days of small things." - Sally Clarkson

"Motherhood rarely showcases what we're good at. His strength is made perfect in weakness." - Ruth Chou Simons

I walked away with several books:

• Beholding and Becoming
• 2020 Planner
• Life - Giving Parent
• Our 24 Family Ways

If you haven't connected to these ladies through Instagram or podcast , I encourage you to do so! We could use more Truth and Grace in our lives as mothers.

Seeking His Kingdom First,

Amanda

Total Loss

I rolled to my side and tried to wiggle myself back into sleep, something gnawing at my mind. Had I imagined Matt standing by the window? Glancing towards the clock and catching the digital glow of 12:47, I pulled the covers up over my shoulder and under my chin.

Matt hadn't been imaginary, and he spoke, peering through the blinds, as slurred in speech as I was in mind, "Our truck isn't in front of our house. Someone else's car is."

"Do you need me?" I asked, leaving no room for an affirmative answer.

We'd only been in bed for a half an hour, and something had woken me from that sweet, deep sleep that is hard for a mother to shake. After he'd left the bedroom, headed outside, I let his words sink in:

Our truck isn't in front of our house.

Someone else's car is.

Pulling on a pair of pants, I walked out onto the front porch, locking the deadbolt behind me. Our neighbor was in the street talking to Matt, and a Mercedes was in front of our house, facing the wrong direction, where our truck should have been parked.

My mind foggy with unfamiliarity, I left the porch and looked down the street. Our truck was in a different neighbors' front yard, smashed, sixty feet from where it had been before when we fell to sleep.

Now having watched the security footage and heard the neighbor's account, here's the way the story goes:

• At 12:31 a.m. on Monday morning, a Mercedes plowed into our truck, which was parked on the street in front of our home. The driver and his passenger, climbed out of their car, ignored my neighbor's pleas to stay until the police arrived, and ran off down the road.

• The police ran the plates and found that the owner of the Mercedes lives just a couple of blocks down in the direction that the Mercedes had been headed, which is also the direction that the driver and passenger went when they left the scene.

• The next day the owner reported the car as stolen.

We're still in the process of working with the police, the security footage, the owner's insurance, our insurance, and the neighbors to insist that someone else take responsibility of our truck being totaled, but as this unideal situation has unfolded, here's what I KNOW:

As we lost precious hours of sleep emptying Matt's truck to prepare for the tow truck, my mind wandered over the laws that had been broken: Speeding, fleeing the scene, likely driving under the influence... When the Bible lists out the Fruits of the Spirit at the end of Galatians 5 it concludes with, "Against such, there is no law!" If we let the Holy Spirit, God, control our lives, we'll find how life works best, and there's no law against kindness and self-control. I am as guilty of breaking God's law as the man who totaled our truck. We are both sinful messes left to ourselves, but God extends something better to both of us, to everyone. He extends forgiveness and life-changing love.

Romans 5:3-5 says, "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

I was full of questions following the accident. I know that all things work together for good, and I know that we have been obedient to what God has asked us to do, and I know that He gives good and perfect gifts, so why was our truck smashed into our neighbor's front yard? I found myself curious, not angry.

Our church is about to start putting together Bibles and sending them around the world, and we're excitedly committing our finances to getting God's Word out, but now we're going to have to spend thousands of dollars to replace a truck that didn't need to be replaced??

I was calm about it all, but I didn't understand.

Then, on Thursday, I got the mail. An envelope from Optima (or was it Anthem?) almost made it to the recycle pile (we haven't had them for insurance for years), but I ripped my pointer finger through the top of the envelope and scanned the top sheet. "..... our mistake.... $1,900.00... enclosed check..."

If you called, or texted, or saw me on Thursday, you've already heard this story. I couldn't shut up about it. God wrote us a $1,900.00 check following our accident, when I thought we may have to pay some out of pocket to replace our business truck.

Do we know everything He's doing through the accident? No, I'm sure we don't.

But, He is faithful... good... kind... worthy of all of our praise.

Glorying in tribulations,
Amanda

Seasons

Recently, we had a couple over to our home for dinner, and when they walked through our front door the wife exclaimed, as though suddenly everything about me was clear in her eyes, "Oh! You're a decorator!" 

It may have been the nicest exclamation that's ever graced our living room, and I'll tell you why. 

I hate hosting.

There are too many opportunities for failure.

Sally Clarkson (a homeschool mother and Christian encourager) recently turned my hosting fears on their head in the pages of her book The Life-Giving Home. She said,

“Beauty is about picturing God’s unchanging goodness and daring to bring it into my own small, dusty days... What my parents-bless them-knew...is that to make a home right in the midst of the fallen world is to craft out a space of human flesh and existence in which eternity rises up in time, in which the kingdom comes, in which we may taste and see the goodness of God.” 

She spoke about bread and soup meals by candlelight, comfortable furniture, and open invitations; Open arms. She spoke about tissues so someone could feel free to cry, toys so children wouldn't feel out of place, and a clean guest room so that anyone could come and stay whenever you saw a need.

She challenged me to be ever ready, actually prepared, to be God's hands and feet to people in ways that don't come naturally to me.

Part of her book spoke of home decor. You know that I enjoy surrounding myself with beautiful (almost always thrifty) things, but I have never been one for seasonal decor. 

In this book, Sally Clarkson talked about various traditions for various seasons. Sure, I have Christmas stuff to sprinkle about for the month of December, but there's nothing for fall. Nothing for spring. Nothing for summer.

It seemed a waste of money to me, to buy things that only come out briefly each year, but then, as the leaves litter the neighborhood roads, and I can feel the world shifting towards autumn, I started to think about God's hand in the beauty of the seasons.

Recently, I've been running things through a filter of "What does the Bible have to say about that?" And I find that the Bible talks a lot more about a lot of things than we give it credit for... Obviously, there's no verse that says, "You should change your home decor every season." but I noted the way Jesus spoke of the beauty of the things He created in seasons.

Why did He bother making sunflowers and pumpkins and pinecones and mums? Why do the leaves turn color before they fall?

Yes, some are for food, but taste itself is a luxury. Why did He bother making food beautiful? Why did He bother spacing the beauty out throughout the year? A blanket of fresh snow and the glassy point of icicles in winter, all the fresh baby birds and bursting blooms in spring, and then summer with thunderstorms and sunshine and...

In Ecclesiastes 3 it says, "To everything there is a season..." and then after a long list of positive and negative things that we go through for seasons, it says in verse 11, "He hath made everything beautiful in His time..." Ah, the beauty of seasons.

In Matthew 6 & Luke 12, Jesus Himself is encouraging His disciples to take their eyes off their own needs and trust Him to take care of them. He could have just said, "Consider the ravens... God feedeth them!" but He goes on in His example and adds, "Consider the lilies. How they grow... Solomon in all His glory was not arrayed like one of these!" 

God created Solomon just like He created lilies, but Solomon was rich and able to add to himself whatever he wanted... and Jesus essentially says, "Think of the most beautiful person in the most beautiful setting able to add all of this world's beauty to himself, and they're not as beautiful as something I've created to grow wild in the field." 

He's going out of His way in this example to say, "I make beautiful things that thrive!"

Our senses are a gift straight from our Creator. He could have put us in a black and white world with nothing to taste or smell or see or touch or hear, but HE'S NOT THAT KIND OF GOD. He filled our world with beauty and joy: including a mind boggling variety in the underwater world (Psalm 95:5 says, "In His hand are the deep places of the earth..."). While I was prone to turn up my nose at the excess of seasonal decor in someone's home, God Himself is always shifting the world and the beautiful things in it, so that things come and go in waves of beauty. Waves of excessive seasonal beauty.

When speaking of a virtuous woman, in Proverbs 31:21 the Bible says, "She is not afraid of the snow for her household for all her household are clothed with scarlet." The word for scarlet is just the color, red. Not a thick, warm fabric, but a warm color. Earlier in the chapter it told us that she works with wool and flax, so we already know she keeps her family warm, but this verse tells us that a virtuous woman clothes her family in a warm color, as the months grow cold. I love that mention.

So, God used His creativity and beauty to convince me, for the first time this year, that the beauty that comes along with seasonal change is something to be celebrated! Maybe you've always loved seasonal decor and didn't need this revelation, but it's something new for me, and I freshly appreciate God's eye for beauty in the change of seasons!

home forever

Lord willing, this coming February, we'll go to South Africa for the month to help a missionary family and get hands-on experience ministering there. Earlier this month we spent some face-to-face time with Brent and Selina Bergey, feeling each other out and telling each other stories. We are only committed to one month in South Africa, but we're open to God saying He wants us there longer, or more often, or permanently.

As we returned to our home state, rounding the bend on the interstate by the Tides' baseball stadium, one exit from home, I looked over Downtown Norfolk. The lit skyscrapers punched rectangles into the midnight sky, a blur of neon and darkness, and my mind stirred, "This isn't going to be home forever."

I meant Norfolk. I meant that we were (and are) open to leaving what is known behind and stepping out onto the water, with our eyes on Him if he bids us come, but immediately my mind shifted, and I felt the Spirit of God whisper, "You're right, Amanda. This isn't going to be home forever."

Earth. This beautiful, God-created world that hangs on nothing and circles the sun in an admirable, rhythmic pattern will some day burn with a fervent heat, and whether that happens in my lifetime or not, my time on this planet is only one exhale. A vapor. A breath.

Time is short, and I have wasted years of it.

Lately God has been contrasting worldliness vs. Godliness to Matt and I...

1 John 2:

1My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: 2And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. ... 15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

While we were at the Wild's Christian Camp last week, Willie Partin quoted Thomas Guthrie and the words convicted me, "If you find yourself loving any pleasure more than your prayers, any book better than the Bible, any house better than the house of the Lord, any table better than the Lord's table, any persons better than Christ, or any indulgence better than the hope of Heaven - be alarmed! The world is sneaking in."

Stacked right along with that quote is a song that snuck into my Pandora station recently called Clear the Stage. These lyrics played slowly in my mind all day until I shared the song with Matt and now it's on regular repeat around here. Read this slowly:

Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
And anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol
And anything that I give all my love is an idol.

I'm convicted about good things! My husband, daughters, finances, and even this trip to South Africa have all had the "all my love" or "can't stop thinking of" slots!

What about Facebook or Instagram? Have you ever looked at your app timers? Some days I spend multiple hours on Facebook. And I like to justify that it's only when I'm breastfeeding Portia or whatever, but let's be honest... I never spend multiple hours reading the Bible! I'm guilty of putting Facebook or even dishes or laundry before my God. Giving them more of my time. Making them a higher priority and trying to squish other things into the God-shaped hole in my day.

As far as practical steps, I've gone into my app settings and set timers for the two (Insta and Facebook) that suck most of my time, so that they'll lock me out after I spend a certain amount of time in them each day. This isn't an accountability post or even a "join me!" post. This is just a "since I met Him I can see!" post. He's changing our family, and while my flesh hates it, the new man in me rejoices!

Drops of grief can ne'er repay the debt of love I owe: Here, Lord I give myself away. 'Tis all that I can do. - Isaac Watts

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1

Photography by Hannah Grace - Necklace by Ascend Wood

Answered Prayer

Psalm 8:2 Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.

 My mother-in-law has a weekly habit of spending time watching our girls, which gives me a few hours a week to work on passports or fold beach house linens while they play in the next room. As she excused herself from our kitchen table last week, she mentioned that her next stop would be the hospital to visit a dear friend.

This sweet lady has an on-going illness that leaves her partially paralyzed off and on, and when I heard she was back in the hospital, my first reaction was pity, or the like, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that!"

Charlotte responded, with a shrug, running the issue straight to Jesus, "God could already heal her. We could ask Him!"

The adults in the room (who have more experience on how these things tend to go), smiled tightly and agreed half-heartedly, "You're right. He could." But, I don't think I believed He would.

After Nana left, before I returned to the dishes, I stopped with Charlotte and prayed for this kind woman by name, and we asked, because of the way Charlotte had worded her faith, that she would already be healed and heading home.

When Nana texted to let us know that she has missed her at the hospital because she was already headed home, it shouldn't have surprised me like it did. For years, I've seen God meet needs and answer prayers, specifically those asked in faith, nothing wavering (James 1:6), the way a child does.

I read the text to Charlotte, with full-enthusiasm, and she mirrored my response: full-joy, excitement, but without an ounce of surprise.

Of course she was already on her way home, that's what we had asked God to do.

To see her belief that God is not limited, strengthens my faith.

Ephesians 3:17-21 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now unto Him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout ages, world without end. Amen.

"... for them that love Him."

Over four years ago, God crossed our path with the opportunity to foster-to-adopt two brothers (you can read the beginning of that story here ---> Adoption). We went through all of the steps, became certified as foster parents in Virginia (case-specific to bringing these two boys from Arizona), and in the end, after months of paperwork, meetings, interviews, classes, and a lot of money spent, it fell through. The judge was surprised at the final court date to find out that we had been certified as foster parents. There were multiple communication mistakes during the process. The boys stayed in Arizona.

What was God trying to teach us through that experience? Why had we gone through it? Among other things, He used it to turn our hearts towards the need of the orphan.

Recently, God asked us to pay off our final debt: our house mortgage. With that in our rearview mirror, we wondered what God was going to hand to us next. Not having a house payment frees up money at the end of each month, but it also frees up time. Where before, we couldn't afford to take extended time off and still pay the mortgage, now we have flexibility; opportunity.

My favorite place on earth is Little Haven, Wales, and I crave the change of scenery and opportunity for short-term luxury that travel brings. Matthew, my husband and favorite person in the world, has no interest in travel. For years now, I've been casually mentioning that I want to go to Europe and show him around some places that I enjoyed seeing (plus see some places I haven't been myself!), for our tenth anniversary. He didn't want to mess with the passports or plane tickets, and was stressed about the idea of traveling to another country.

Then, a week ago, some missionary friends came into town, and played this video in front of our church. It's seven minutes long and worth the watch! ----> Bergeys in South Africa

Their heart for orphans, teenage mothers, feeding the hungry, and healing the sick touched me as I listened. They sounded like Jesus' hands and feet to the people in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. I knew we were going to be involved in their ministry. A number floated to the top of my thoughts, and I was confident that when Matt and I talked about it, God would have brought the same monthly amount to his mind. God is always knitting our hearts together in that way.

We climbed into the van, after buckling the girls into their carseats, and I turned to him, "What are we going to do?" I could already hear his answer, "We're going to give..." but instead he surprised me by beginning with, "We're going to go..."

Next year, God willing, we're going to take our girls and go to South Africa to be God's hands and feet to those people for a month. 

Imagine my surprise when my husband, typically unwilling to leave America, suggested this trip. I couldn't convince him to go on a pleasure tour of Europe, but serving the fatherless in Africa: Sign him up! I can't explain how close I felt to Matt when he told me that he felt like God was asking us to do this. Attracted to the max. I love to follow this man as he follows Christ!

God has given Matt this verse since then; His new life verse:

1 Corinthians 2:9 But as it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

In addition to the visit next year, we also want to help the Bergey's raise the funds they need to continue to expand their reach to more unwanted children and people in South Africa. They recently completed raising the money to buy 40+ acres, and now they are working on raising the money for ground clearing and building larger facilities to house more children and helpers. You can donate here and every penny will go towards the work there in South Africa. I love watching God's people work together! Be as generous as you're able, even if that just means $5! paypal.me/ahelpmeetforhim

We'll keep you updated as we take these steps. Thank you for following along for all of these years! Y'all know that I never ask you to share my posts, but I'm requesting it for this one. The more eyes we get on the ministry in South Africa the more opportunity there is for Christians to give to the expansion of the work being done there! Share away!

Holiness

Recently I've felt the Holy Spirit stirring in me, speaking in that still, small, loud and clear voice, announcing that I've let sin into my life under the banner of "my guilty pleasure" or "I deserve to let loose when I have some alone time."

When I'm hoping my girls will nap at the same time, so I can watch an episode of a show that is full of things I wouldn't want them to repeat, I'm only pretending for their sake to be the Christian mother that I want them to see. If, when they're not in the car with me, I feel free to turn on that music I'd never listen to when they're around, who am I?

Is it sin, or isn't it? Is it wrong, or isn't it?

Romans 2:21 Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? Thou that preaches a man should not steal, dost thou steal?

Ephesians 4:1 I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called.

Romans 6:13-15 Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. What then? Shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.

Ugh. I hate the ugly truth that my flesh still always wants her way.

So, lately, when they nap at the same time I've been spending the time praying for them in specific ways. Asking God to draw them to salvation at a young age and to give me wisdom as I mother them.  Putting my flesh aside every day and yielding myself unto God as an instrument of righteousness is the best thing I can do for these beauties and for myself.

Nowak Family Minivan

At less than two years old, I began mothering my baby brother Chris, so it is no exaggeration to say that I have been dreaming about these days my whole life. For some women the minivan is a purchase they accept in defeat, but for me the term "soccer mom" sounds ideal, not derogatory.

We had planned to save $20,000 up for a van this year, and we needed to pull the trigger before the summer began (to run our cleaning crew to the Outer Banks every weekend), but we only got to $9,000 before we ran across my dream van on Facebook marketplace and pulled the trigger.

2006. Toyota Sienna. White. 65k miles. One owner. All maintenance regularly kept. $7,500.

We brought hundred dollar bills and bought it for $7,200.

It's the newest car we've ever owned: The fancy kind where you can press a button to open a sliding door, have a digital display for the temperature outside, and watch a DVD in the backseat (don't tell Charlotte, she doesn't know, ha.)

Driving in this van as a family, paying for my dream car with cash, and needing more space because our business is expanding, are just a couple of God's big gifts to us so far this year. He's so faithful to hand us good things.

That is not to say that life is pain-free, loss-free, or lie-free. Sin wages war all around us, and our family is not exempt from its harm or its indwelling, but even tonight as I was reading Proverbs, I saw it again.

Proverbs 10:6 Blessings are upon the head of the just...

Proverbs 10:22 The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and He addeth no sorrow with it.

I looked up the root word behind "rich," and it is monetary wealth. God wants to do so many other big things in our lives, starting with the fruits of the Spirit (found in Galatians 5), but He also is faithful to reward a diligent worker.

On to the next goal!

Without fail

For three hundred and fifty-four days, we've been self-employed. Last February, we started something new, a window cleaning company, with no customers and no promise of work, stepping into the unknown, trusting God to bring the work and supply everything we needed.

Every day, without fail, God has provided that work.

This morning, January 30th, we woke up with nothing on the calendar for tomorrow, January 31st. All of our bills are paid. We want for nothing, but still, Matt and I were (separately) praying that God would fill in work for tomorrow.

This afternoon, we got a call from a current customer, asking us to clean five more of his businesses. As he ended their communication he said, "I really need them done for January. Can you squeeze them in tomorrow?"

Normally, short-notice like that, there wouldn't be any way to make that work, but today, I could feel the glimmer in God's eye. He's always handing us things that we can't reach, dropping things in our laps that we don't have the faith to ask Him for ourselves, and proving His unfailing faithfulness.

We're ending today with six jobs for tomorrow.

I don't know what it is that you haven't bothered asking Him for, but ask Him, and then open your mouth wide.

Why did Jesus come to a yucky place?

I always strive to explain things to her in a way that makes sense to a three year old.

After I carefully talked through the trip to Bethlehem and the kindness of a man offering his barn for them to sleep in, I explained how mangers are a dirty place where animals eat.

Charlotte responded with, "Why did Jesus come to a yucky place?"

I explained that they were on a trip, so he didn't have his normal crib to sleep in, but what a question! I couldn't stop there!

Why did Jesus come to a yucky place? Forget the trough and the barn... Imagine the Creator making Himself small to come into a world infested with sin and darkness, malice and evil.

Why did Jesus come to a yucky place? Love. Unadulterated, never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love.

She keeps asking questions, and we just keep feeding her the Gospel on repeat.

Payoff Request

As we've rounded this last bend towards the finish line, we've committed to push hard all the way to that final step.

Luke 14:28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he has sufficient to finish it?

God blew our timeline out of the water. I had counted the cost and then set what I thought was an ambitious goal: to pay our house off in 36 months. We had $79k left to pay off, so that would have been over $2,000 EXTRA toward the mortgage every month.

I wanted to be debt free by my 30th birthday. It's 2018, not 2020. I'm 28 years old for a couple more months. Every month, and with every payment, God whispered, "YOU can't do this. I can."

Last December, I expected to have our biggest month. I was going to push hard selling things online, we were going to get Christmas money, and we were going to end up way ahead, putting massive amounts towards the mortgage. That month was one of our lowest. When I get proud, thinking I'll make progress on my own, God makes me small.

His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

How fitting, that He's going to pay off our mortgage in December, 22 months after we started.

This is our first time paying off a house, and it wasn't as straight forward as I'd imagined. You can't just pay off your house. You have to send the mortgage lender a payoff quote request. Essentially, there's a $50 fee for them to send you the paperwork saying that you now own your home. We sent the request, and they sent us back the exact amount that we owed, a date that the request expires (if we don't pay it off by December 21st, we'd have to re-request the payoff quote), and the requirement that the payoff can't be paid online (it must be wire transferred or sent by certified check).

We aren't quite ready to pay it off yet, but we've asked God to pay it off this month, and we have every expectation that, as we work, He'll hand us the money to pay off our mortgage this month.

Our mortgage. That final debt. This final payment. Hello, finish line.

Your Mortgage is Debt

We are paying off our mortgage with full-hustle, and none of the communities we are a part of advocate for that.... So, why are we doing it?

Group Number One: Financial Independence Retire Early

This group is all about budgeting, saving, and investing. I love having a space where I can gain advice and learn about tax laws and life optimization. These people are purely logical. Mmm. My kind of humans.

People in the Financial Independence Retire Early crowd would not recommend paying off your mortgage aggressively because you make more money in the stock market than you save in mortgage interest.

Group Number Two: Dave Ramsey

You thought we had camaraderie here? Nope. Yes, Dave Ramsey recommends paying off your mortgage, but he recommends slowing down after you get your other debts paid off. His advice would encourage us to allow vacations etc. and put "left-over" money towards the mortgage. "Take your foot off the gas."

The Dave Ramsey crowd would not recommend that you pay off your mortgage aggressively, so you can "Start to live" or "Lighten up a bit" instead, while you continue to put some money towards your mortgage.

Group Number Three: Friends and Family

We are loved by hundreds and hundreds of people, but the general response we get from people about our passion to pay off our mortgage debt is: "Why?" "What's the hurry?" "Are you making this an idol?" "You're working too much." "I wish I made as much money as y'all do." "I'll never get my house paid off."




So, why are we paying off our mortgage like our hair is on fire? Why are we working extra jobs, making more money than we've ever made, and throwing every penny of it at our mortgage at the end of each month? Why are we ignoring the logic of paying it off at regular speed while investing the difference? Why?

Matt and I believe that the Bible is God's Word, given to us to light our path. Some of the Bible is easy, direct commands. Do this. Don't do this. 

Here is what God says to us at the beginning of Proverbs 6.

6 My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand with a stranger,

2 Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth.

3 Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend.

4 Give not sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids.

5 Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.

The word "surety" in verse one is an old English word, and it simple means "One who enters into a bond for payment of debt." Easy enough. So, if you've received money from someone and agreed to pay it back (this is the difference between debt and bills), this applies to you.

In verse one it mentions friends and strangers. No matter who you owe the money to, this applies.

Verse two just says, "You promised." When they gave you money you gave them your word.

Verses four and five are the ones we can't ignore. Those two verses fuel this journey. Don't sleep. Don't rest. Run, like you are being hunted.

If I told you there was a man hunting you with a gun, how fast would you run?

That's all that happened. We read these verses and couldn't pretend we hadn't seen them.

The fact that passionately paying off the mortgage isn't popular, doesn't change what those verses say. The fact that some people think mortgage debt is "different," doesn't change what those verses say. So, we're hustling out of mortgage debt with all the speed we can muster, because we believe that God's Word is a lamp for our feet.