home forever

Lord willing, this coming February, we'll go to South Africa for the month to help a missionary family and get hands-on experience ministering there. Earlier this month we spent some face-to-face time with Brent and Selina Bergey, feeling each other out and telling each other stories. We are only committed to one month in South Africa, but we're open to God saying He wants us there longer, or more often, or permanently.

As we returned to our home state, rounding the bend on the interstate by the Tides' baseball stadium, one exit from home, I looked over Downtown Norfolk. The lit skyscrapers punched rectangles into the midnight sky, a blur of neon and darkness, and my mind stirred, "This isn't going to be home forever."

I meant Norfolk. I meant that we were (and are) open to leaving what is known behind and stepping out onto the water, with our eyes on Him if he bids us come, but immediately my mind shifted, and I felt the Spirit of God whisper, "You're right, Amanda. This isn't going to be home forever."

Earth. This beautiful, God-created world that hangs on nothing and circles the sun in an admirable, rhythmic pattern will some day burn with a fervent heat, and whether that happens in my lifetime or not, my time on this planet is only one exhale. A vapor. A breath.

Time is short, and I have wasted years of it.

Lately God has been contrasting worldliness vs. Godliness to Matt and I...

1 John 2:

1My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: 2And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. ... 15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

While we were at the Wild's Christian Camp last week, Willie Partin quoted Thomas Guthrie and the words convicted me, "If you find yourself loving any pleasure more than your prayers, any book better than the Bible, any house better than the house of the Lord, any table better than the Lord's table, any persons better than Christ, or any indulgence better than the hope of Heaven - be alarmed! The world is sneaking in."

Stacked right along with that quote is a song that snuck into my Pandora station recently called Clear the Stage. These lyrics played slowly in my mind all day until I shared the song with Matt and now it's on regular repeat around here. Read this slowly:

Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
And anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol
And anything that I give all my love is an idol.

I'm convicted about good things! My husband, daughters, finances, and even this trip to South Africa have all had the "all my love" or "can't stop thinking of" slots!

What about Facebook or Instagram? Have you ever looked at your app timers? Some days I spend multiple hours on Facebook. And I like to justify that it's only when I'm breastfeeding Portia or whatever, but let's be honest... I never spend multiple hours reading the Bible! I'm guilty of putting Facebook or even dishes or laundry before my God. Giving them more of my time. Making them a higher priority and trying to squish other things into the God-shaped hole in my day.

As far as practical steps, I've gone into my app settings and set timers for the two (Insta and Facebook) that suck most of my time, so that they'll lock me out after I spend a certain amount of time in them each day. This isn't an accountability post or even a "join me!" post. This is just a "since I met Him I can see!" post. He's changing our family, and while my flesh hates it, the new man in me rejoices!

Drops of grief can ne'er repay the debt of love I owe: Here, Lord I give myself away. 'Tis all that I can do. - Isaac Watts

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Romans 12:1

Photography by Hannah Grace - Necklace by Ascend Wood