A Helpmeet?

"Helpmeet" is what the Creator God called Eve when He mentioned her for the first time. He made her to help her husband. Genesis 2:18, "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."

Everything else that God had made that week (which was the entire universe), He had called "good," but when God made man, He looked at him and said, "He's alone, and that is not good."

I often fail at being my husband's best friend and strongest supporter. My blog name is not what I am best at, but instead what I am reminding myself to work toward.





I believe that the Bible teaches clearly that God made the woman for the man, to help him, because it wasn't good for him to be alone. It is my God-given gift, and greatest accomplishment, to stand beside my husband and support him with all of my being. I've named this blog "A Helpmeet for Him" to remind me of that.

I want to greet him at the door with a smile, instead of the weight of the day. I want to fill him with warm dinners in the winter and cool dinners when the sun beats hardest. I want to go to bed every night for the rest of my life at the same time as him, and commit my time to the raising of our children. It's what God has given me to do. It is my highest aspiration to help my husband.

One of my favorite verses clearly defines what a woman, Biblically, is supposed to be.

1 Timothy 5:14 "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully."

I was created by God to help my husband, and then he gave me a list of assignments for after marriage. He's given me the gift of bearing children and guiding my household. That's an assignment from God, and I love it!

Could I do other things? Yes. I graduated salutatorian from college, and my personality is strong and ready to lead. I choose to spend my days in the role God has given me, helping my husband be his strongest and guiding our household affairs, including running our family business.

Scheduling appointments, diaper changing, responding to emails, yogurt feeding, writing copy for emails, book reading, song singing, laundry folding, dish washing, decorating, vacuuming, plant watering, sewing, meal making, and bathroom cleaning are my first goals. For me, following the Bible's clearly laid out path is the highest calling a woman can have.


21 comments:

  1. :) Love this...and agree whole-heartedly. Have you read "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl? I have heard phenomenal things....

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    1. Thank you! You and I are certainly part of the minority in this generation. :) Yes, I have read it and I can whole heartedly recommend all of her books. They have such a playfulness and joy in their marriage and are a wonderful example to younger Christian couples. You should definitely read it! If you lived closer I'd let you borrow it! :)

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  2. Hi! I just found your blog. I wanted to tell you that I loved that you mentioned "get through college first" as a part of your helpmeet summary. :-) Most blogs that I read are very encouraging in the area of preparing to be a helpmeet (I am unmarried). However, many of these tend to mention that going to college is NOT an option for a christian helpmeet. Like you, I was "called" to go to college, and now that I am done, I can focus even more of my attention on this! Sorry for the long post! Thank you! :-)

    -Gabriela

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    1. I can assure you that I am a better helpmeet because I have gone to college. :) I'm glad you found your way over here and more glad that you were encouraged!

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  3. Thanks so much for posting this! I just found your blog and I'm loving all the posts. I'm a newlywed (I've been married less than 3 months) and was looking for blogs just like yours to inspire and encourage me. Hope you don't mind if I stick around :)

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    1. Stay awhile! I'm excited for the opportunity to inspire and encourage! It's nice to meet you. :)

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  4. Wow! I couldn't agree more. I'm loving your blog so far, I came across it, because of Humans of New York!
    Great job, and I love your views. There's nothing better than a woman who is willing to make it her job to take care of her husband. I hope to do the same one day! Take care, and enjoy Max! :)

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    1. Thanks! We're so excited to add Max to our family!

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  5. Came across your blog through HONY. I just wanted to say I love, love this. My husband and I were just talking tonight about how society has forgotten their true roles. Women are put into men's places and men put into women's.

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  6. It's possible to be there for your man and also be a woman that has her own identity no?? Women are of course there for men because women have many more spiritual attributes then men so they really are the ones that hold it all together. Women need to rise up to their role as the Divine Feminine which is crushed in today's world with all the sexism and exploitation of and violence against women. That is a reflection of what the violence on the planet is all about. Women are in fact subjected to being invisible and less than human in many parts of the world. Until that changes you can cuddle up to your idea of what your role is but you will never make a difference in the lives of the women that need to be empowered to have their freedom and voice heard and their rights respected. Until then none of us are free.

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    1. I've been studying the role of women in other countries some, and you're absolutely right that we are blessed to have freedom in America! I said nothing about losing my own identity by encouraging my husband, so no worries there. I just want to be an example of love and a positive attitude toward my husband instead of tearing him down to find my own worth like so many wives do.

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    2. I'm another HONY visitor who clicked around out of curiosity. I'm probably the opposite of you in that I think it's my calling to be my own advocate and push myself to be the best I can be (so maybe the opposite of a helpmeet) but I just want to say that I really like the way you've written this blog. You seem very generous and humble, and I just really appreciate that you don't seem to be judging other people too much for not following the path you feel you've been called to. I just honestly want to say thank you for that.

      I just want to remind you that there are plenty of women who do not see themselves as helpmeets to their men in their lives, but also have no desire to "tear him down to find their own worth" as you say. I'm sure there are some people who do tear one another down, but I don't think that's true for most people who are in a loving relationship. I've been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for more than three years now and I can honestly say it has been such a pleasure to help build one another up as equals and partners. We're both going to NYC this week for our off-Broadway debut... I'm the playwright, and he's the starring actor =] Our talents aren't the same, but when we work together we can achieve our individual goals as well as our goals as a couple!

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    3. I'm never trying to offend anyone, so thanks for seeing that! :) Just because someone isn't committed to helping their husband, certainly doesn't make them the one who spends their time whining and complaining about him, but I'm trying to lean heavily to one side on this, to be an example as an encouraging wife. Unfortunately, I'm not good building him up all the time. I've just seen so many wives act like marriage is some sort of ball and chain relationship, but my marriage with Matt has been exciting. He encourages and helps me just as much (or more) as I do him. The name of the blog is more just a reminder to me that it's the example I'm hoping to set.

      I'm excited for you and your boyfriend's play! I hope it all goes well!!

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    4. That makes a lot of sense. I think it's always good to remind yourself to be there for the people you love and make sure you're -actively- trying to be a good presence in their lives, since it's so easy to take that for granted. Like, it's very easy to get into the habit of saying "I love you" but it takes more effort to actually make sure you are doing things that SHOW that love every day. That's great that he treats you the same way too!
      I feel like unfortunately many people think marriage is like in the movies... starts with a romance, ends with a wedding, and a couple rides off into the sunset to a blissful life. I don't think people ever really think about the fact that they actually have to -keep- tending the fire so it stays going!

      Thanks so much! I'm really excited too =] I'm just out of college so being Off-Broadway is a big opportunity for me!

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  7. WOW! Amanda it has been a long time! Glad to see you are happy and have an amazing life! I too am a huge fan of the calling God has given us as wives. To be helpmeets! What an awesome responsibility. Thank you for sharing your story and life with others. Congratulations on your new little blessing as well. This will be your favorite chapter!

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    1. Thanks, Amber! We're crazy excited! Good to hear from you!

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  8. i love my husband and try to do everything I can to help him but i am never going to cook him the best dinners in the world. i hate cooking! Also I don't think being a cliche 1950s housewife is necessarily what 'helps' every husband... because people are different and have different needs. PS. i hope your husband is striving to love you "as christ loved the church" -- because that's HIS god commanded role in your marriage (ephesians i think). PPS. i landed here searching for photos of '70s hair ha ha! the internet! :)

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  9. i realized that was maybe harsh of me to say "cliche 1950s housewife" -- it's so judging! my apologies. I'm just trying to say that not every husband needs his wife to greet him at the front door and have dinner on the table :) although if i'm honest, what human being WOULDN'T want to come home to that?! ;)

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    1. Haha, you're fine! It's what I want for our life. What I want to aspire to be. It's my goal, whether anyone else thinks it's worth pursuing! My husband loves me with all of himself all of the time. He's an excellent example of Christ's love for his church. I just want to help him as I am able (instead of making excuses to not help) and that includes dinners and smiles are every day occurrences. :)

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