9.18.2018

Perfectionist




We're elbows deep in potty-training, over here, mixed with everything else. The perfectionist in me had hoped to come to you with a simple potty-training plan that worked like a charm, but we've muddled through it in the most human way possible, failing and learning and bathing and managing to go most days accident-free.

Before Portia, I never struggled to juggle the day-to-day life activities... but lately all I do is struggle. That's one of the reasons why you haven't heard from me in a month. At the end of each day, when I get into bed, it's with tabs still open in my head of things that should have been finished but weren't.

You know the story of Abraham and Isaac? Abraham was an old man when God promised him a son. Abraham didn't even think it was possible, but then God gave them a miracle: Isaac. Later, when Isaac was older, God asked Abraham to take Isaac up a mountain and sacrifice him there. Literally, God asked Abraham to kill Isaac as a sacrifice to Him.

God didn't promise Abraham a line larger than the stars in the heaven only to snuff out his promised son. No. When God asked Abraham for Isaac, really, God was asking Abraham to choose God over his son.

"Do you love the God who created and gifted you your child more than you love your child?"

When God asks Abraham to prove his love, and Abraham is willing to kill his son to obey his Creator, God is quick to stop him. He wants Isaac to live, not die! God didn't want Isaac. He wanted Abraham.

What is it that you value more than your Creator and Savior?

For me, I think it is the previously mentioned "perfectionist in me." The idea that I could have a perfect life if I work hard enough at keeping all of my balls in the air perfectly. But no one in my life is perfect. Not my husband. Not my children. Not my favorite Instagram mom. Certainly, not me.

Only in Jesus Christ have I ever seen perfection, and so to value that unattainable goal more than I value my perfect Savior, is nothing short of idolatry smothered in irony.

O to be like Thee! Blessed Redeemer; This is my constant longing and prayer; Gladly I'll forfeit all of earth's treasures. Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear.

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