Run Without Me

Thanksgiving snuck up this year. Someone on Instagram was advertising their Black Friday sale, and my reaction was, "Settle down. You're too early." Until I realized that it was NEXT WEEK (this week at this point), so I was the one who was late to the party, as opposed to her being early to it. 

When I think about what God has gifted us, His gifts are huge and abundant. I tend to complain, focusing on the one bad thing that happened today, when God has given us life and that more abundantly (John 10:10)!

The night before last, Charlotte went to bed without breastfeeding. We've been down to twice a day for quite awhile. Yes, she's almost two, and yes, I'd like to wean her before Portia comes, and, yes, I'd like her to wean herself before I have to cut her off, but the next morning she said, "I want some food from the fridge, please." Food from the fridge instead of mama. Maybe it's emotional, pregnant lady talk, but I felt unnecessary in my daughter's life and later that day, peeling squash for dinner, I cried. My husband loves me, and he whispered in Charlotte's ear all evening long, "Go tell mama you need her!" Charlotte kept running over with snuggles, face buried into me, "I need you, mama!" 

The goal of parenting is for your children to grow to be men and women who glorify God and love others, and I'll be the first to shout that that means babies have to become children, who become women, and there's no room for breastfeeding in that equation, long-term. How quickly I forget where we're headed. I want Charlotte to run without me, with God's words bound to her, following Him wherever He leads (Deuteronomy 6:8, Psalm 43:3), and though I'll miss this stage of dependence, I'm thankful for a daughter who has grown big enough to eat food from the fridge and run without me.