Family Relationships

My mother and I have had a complex relationship for years. We love each other, absolutely, but our personalities seem to strongly contradict each other. She has many qualities that I lack, and I have strengths in ways that she is weak. Our relationship got rocky in my teen years when both of us were unlovely. 

Recently, mom mentioned wanting to have a "meeting" with me: to go out to lunch without my baby or my younger sister. I'll admit to eye rolls and also nervousness. Mom and I get along cordially, but a sit down meeting? She said she needed to talk to me, and I felt that we were going to try to overcome some of the past. I've been very honest with my mother (not all along, but still we're caught up), so I don't have anything to hide from her, but I felt like we'd be prone to ignore the big picture issues that have kept us from being close. So, I started to pray.

I prayed that neither of us would be proud, because only by pride cometh contention (Proverbs 13:10). I prayed that specific things would be addressed; Things that, I'll admit, I didn't think my mom would say.

We small talked on the ride to the restaurant. Matt's car broke down recently so we're in the process of looking for another one (with a specific and long list of requirements) and the time passed easily catching up about that. At the restaurant mom prayed with me before we started talking and then her first sentence, which I had asked God would be addressed, but honestly didn't think she would say, was exactly what I needed to hear. It was an apology, that wasn't general, it was specific. THIS THING. I'm sorry for this thing.

Sometimes I have so little faith that God will answer my prayer, and in those cases it amazes me that He cares so deeply about me. He cares about my relationship with my mother. It was a huge step. Her apology gave me all the freedom I needed to honestly apologize for my disobedience and dishonor towards her (them).

There's still some healing to be had. We've both gotten used to addressing each other in a certain way, but I can feel the excitement between us when we see each other and remember, "We're friends. We love each other." More importantly, we both love the same God and want the same good things for each other.