Mother's Day 2017

This morning my husband brought me breakfast in bed. He snuck out of bed and made homemade, on-plan jelly for my sprouted grain toast and homemade, on-plan chocolate syrup for my vanilla almond milk. He made me eggs and bacon and brought me a bowl of grapes. Charlotte was all smiles in tow, with my napkin and fork. It was a beautiful way to wake up. I'm blessed to be loved so well.

Matt and I hadn't budgeted any money for Mother's Day this year (homemade gifts for our mom's using resources we already had), and he showed his love to me by honoring that and not spending a penny on me. He did finish a project he'd been working on that I'm excited to show you.

This morning, in church, my mother and I were handing out baskets of flowers to some mothers who "won" in a certain categories (most grandchildren, woman who has been the mother the longest etc.) and one of the categories was "mother with the youngest child." We have a mother with a seven month old, and (since the pregnant mothers weren't in service today) I was pretty sure her child would be the youngest. But when mom said, "If you have a child who is one or younger, remain standing." I, from next to her, standing on the platform, said, "Technically, I'm still standing." What I meant was, you have to get below a year for Janet to win, even though we all know Charlotte is older than Joel, Charlotte is one, so I'm still in the running, but mom turned to me, full-shock on her face, "YOU'RE PREGNANT!?!!?"

Oh, mother.

I'm not pregnant. Mom and I have grown closer in the last couple of years. I think having a baby of my own has helped me see how much she loves us kids, even when we don't see eye to eye on details.

On Mother's Day I feel predominately light. My baby is sweet and beautiful (even though she's willful). But I also have to acknowledge a heavy feeling in my core. There's a hole in me that speaks on Mother's Day. I have a son who didn't climb into our bed this morning to share grapes with me. On this day, remember the mothers who have lost. Recently, the Virginia Pilot Newspaper published an article about a woman who counseled women in situations of losing a child. In that article they took pictures of the grave where Christian is buried. Part of the article says, "Today there are teddy bears, and pinwheels, tiny dinosaurs and even a little badminton set for children who never got to play." The tiny dinosaur is a Fred that Matt made for Christian. Man, that article caught us off-guard.

Two years ago on Mother's Day we announced that we were expecting Charlotte Pear. She's such a gift, and I'm thankful to have had this beautiful chance to mother this sweet baby kid.