1.03.2016

Charlotte Pear: week one









You're beautiful, baby.

At four days old, we visited her doctor, and she had lost a full pound (down to six pounds fifteen ounces). My milk hadn't come in, and the doctor was worried that she had lost too much, even though I thought she was nursing like a pro. The doctor wanted me to supplement with formula and come in two days later for another weight check to see if we needed to take more extreme measures. To be honest, I've never been more emotional (hormonal) than I was those first couple of days. I felt like the doctor said, "You're not good at being a mom. You don't have what your baby needs to survive." I cried in front of her. That's SO not my personality. 

On the way home from the doctor, logic overwhelmed hormones. Is it better to breastfeed if you can? Yes. BUT, if the worst thing going on in my life is that our beautiful daughter needs supplemental formula, our life is perfect. That night, my milk came in. Charlotte gained four ounces in less than forty-eight hours without the formula. We're thankful for our healthy, beautiful girl.

There's been all sorts of other emotions too. Staring. Long-time sitting. Smiling, just watching her mouth twitch or her fingers squeeze. Checking to make sure she's breathing. Snuggles. Gushing. Gratitude.

I'm also thankful to have these pictures of our baby at one week. She's already different from the baby in these pictures, and I love having these moments frozen.

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