8.23.2012

porn


I'm just cleaning house.

I mopped the bathroom floor, washed the dishes, and then placed them into their respective cupboard spots. Next, I went through seventeen issues of Better Homes and Gardens and pulled out all of the pictures of naked women.

Nothing against Better Homes and Gardens. Obviously, their main goal is to inspire me to have a beautiful home, inside and out, but they forget the eyes of the men in my life. I've never met a man who didn't struggle with porn.

Everyone starts somewhere. I remember my first time. At age thirteen, a friend and I were on her computer. We were making paper dolls and looking at pictures of our favorite movie stars. Then, in an act of innocence, we typed "hot guys" into google search, hoping for all of our favorite actors to show up in one search. Oops. We couldn't react fast enough. She closed all the internet explorer windows, we turned off the computer, and rushed into her living room. We sat on the couch, out of breathe, wide-eyed, and accidentally guilty. I literally can still remember the form and shape of the pixels that glared back at us.

I wasn't curious. I wasn't searching, but there it was, and it whet an appetite that I admit to fighting {sometimes half-heartedly} for the rest of my life thus far.

Matthew started differently than me. Lotion ads. Underwear ads. Almost harmless. Not naked women, or, at least, not showing the areas that we consider to be offensive. His internet searches became purposeful. A downward spiral into addiction.

I wouldn't share that if I didn't know that every other boy I've ever known/dated/befriended struggles too. Some more than others. Different ages, different problems, but the same struggle. A lust that leads to addiction.

Don't think I'm ignorant. I know that as hard as we'll try to keep our sons' eyes from temptation, they will see it. It's at the library. It's at gas stations, wal*mart, and woven through every television station. I can't protect them from erotic billboards, but I can make sure they won't find trash in our home. They won't find it in my magazines. We're just trying to help them. We're trying to protect their eyes for as long as we can.

I'm trying to encourage them toward righteousness and give all of the men in my life a liberty to stand fast in.

3 comments:

  1. Good post Amanda, I appreciate the honesty i think for was about the same... i wish i had more victory in this than i honestly could say i do. :( Keep up good work! God Bless

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  2. thank you. this is encouraging. A topic all too ignored and an addiction all too normalized... :(

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  3. Bless you and Matthew for your honesty...These words will bring healing

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