Sin, when it is finished.

 

I remember the conversation. We were approaching my parents' neighborhood, stopped at a red light, my mother in the driver's seat of our latest in a long run of blue mini vans. She was scolding me, or maybe warning me, about how later in life I was going to regret the decisions I was making as a teenager.

Vividly, I remember thinking, "You don't know me. You don't know how I feel. I won't regret any of this." 

She was speaking in generalities. She didn't have the specifics. She didn't know which sins she was bringing to mind.

Sin. My sin.

James 1 says,

"Blessed in the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his lust, and enticed.

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death."

 

If I have sin, tucked away, that hasn't brought forth death yet, I promise you, it just isn't finished yet. The Bible promises that sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. 

Later, in the same chapter, James tell us,

"But be ye doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves."

I've always known the truth, and maybe so have you. If I'm only hearing the truth, but not living it, I'm deceiving myself. 

In the book of Numbers, the Lord gives His children a task and says, 

"But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord: and be sure your sin will find you out."

I can be sure, even if it hasn't found me out, yet: My sin will find me out. Even if it's been half my life since the sin began, if it hasn't brought forth death yet, it isn't finished. 

As someone who knows the truth, and is familiar with Scripture, James has another warning for me,

"Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin."

The weight of knowing the right thing and not doing it. The sin, piling up.

And then, Jesus, speaking of religious people, who outwardly pretend to be doing the right thing, but inwardly are sinning, lying to themselves and those around them.

"Beware ye of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.

 

For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known.

 

Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops."

 

The specific sin that came to mind at that stoplight has been a long time coming, unfinished in my life. Recently, I'm reaping the heartache and hurt that I, at the time, willing, sowed. 

I'm posting this as a testimony and a warning. Maybe you're a teen who thinks, "It's not that bad. No one will ever know." Or maybe you're an adult, who needs the reminder that there is nothing covered that shall not be revealed. 

He is a God of justice.

"He is the Rock, his work is perfect: For all his ways are judgement: a God of truth and without iniquity, Just and right is he."

"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I'm thankful that God is just and right, and that even though I could never earn His forgiveness, He can forgive me, through his Son, Jesus Christ, when I confess, repent, and turn away from my sin. 

I'll leave you with this: Rand Hummel says, "You can choose your sin, but you can not choose the consequence of your sin."

So often we think we have it handled. So few people know. Who does it hurt? But the longer you keep sin in the dark, the more people it hurts when it is brought to the light.

 

The Cottage on the Edge

 

"For years, I've been sitting, waiting for someone to love me enough to touch me, and I saw them today.

The family came, all together, laughing, tossing pinecones into the river. Arms and hands overflowing with babies.

One of the daughters asked, "May I touch the cottage?"

She doesn't know the ceremony I felt as she graduated me out loud from an office to a cottage: From a place of work to a place of rest.

They talked about my future driveway, future back door, future loft. They looked at me and saw the future, where others had only seen the past. 

I always sit on the edge of the river, the edge of the city, but today I sat on the edge of the future, and, boy, was it bright."

Instagram caption. October 28th @thecottageontheedge

I fall in love with buildings. When I pass them, I imagine saving them. Scooping them up, opening their windows, and painting their walls. I imagine filling them with beautiful furniture and fanciful memories.

Every time we passed this building, it tugged at me. Its smallness, amplifying its cuteness. Its disrepair, amplifying its need for love.

We knew the owners were the same family that we bought our dream house from, and so we reached out, with only the knowledge that they weren't actively using the cottage, and offered them money for a one room cottage on the edge of the river. 

It took them awhile, three elderly brothers in a couple different states, but they accepted our offer, and now, Lord willing, we're fifteen days from closing!

It's been unused for years, and there's a "skylight" in the peak of the roof that has been letting in the weather and the wildlife for years, so when we say it's a gut job, we're not exaggerating, but I can already see the cute kitchen with the picture window (neither the kitchen nor the window currently exist) overlooking the river and the anniversary nights that couples will spend away from their kids. Lord willing, it will be a short-term rental at some point in 2023, but there's a lot of work between now and then! Excited to bring you along!

House Hacking

What if someone else would pay your mortgage while you still got to live in your home? 

I'd like to introduce you to house hacking.

With house hacking, someone lives inside your house while you live there too. You get to choose how connected or disconnected they are from you. 

Sometimes, it's like having a roommate. I know some people who share a living space and a kitchen with their "renters." That's still house hacking, because someone is paying a chunk of your mortgage every month in exchange for a chunk of your house.

Our family prefers house hacking with distinct separation, where the renter never comes into "our part of the house."

For our specific house, we have a room over the garage that has a second staircase down to the garage. It is attached to our home in two places, but we are able to lock both of those from the inside, and he can enter and exit his space via the door in the garage.

He has a huge room; which includes a dining and buffet area, futon/couch t.v. area, desk and computer area, and a queen sized bed. He also has an attached full bathroom and lots of extra attic and closet space. There's enough floor space for his pac man machine to fit nicely in addition to all of the other furniture. 

What he doesn't have, is a kitchen.

You may think that no one would want a space without a kitchen, but we have found two people since we moved in who have been willing to live in our space with no kitchen access. We provided a microwave, crockpot, small grill, and hot plate for them. We have a mini fridge up in their room, and an older fridge/freezer combo in our garage for them to store their food in until they're ready to cook/eat it.

The first renter was a college student, in town only for a semester, that wanted a place to rent, short-term, in a safe neighborhood, not too far from her college. She was a friend of a friend of a friend. Sweet girl. She graduated after staying with us for four months. The second renter is a single friend from church, who wanted to live on our side of the water. He has been with us for a couple of months.

How could you shift your home to make house hacking work for you?

If you are able to buy and live in a duplex, that's the easiest way. Sometimes, if you buy a duplex, you can charge 100% of the mortgage to someone else, for one half of the duplex and live there in the other half completely free. 

If you have a single family home, you can still house hack, even if you don't have a room above the garage/second staircase situation! Count the exterior doors to your home. If you have more than two doors that leave your home, chances are, you could get by with using only two of them (like a front and back door). The third door could be your renter's entrance.

If you have a third entrance to your house, you're already almost there! If you lock off the ways that the third entrance connects to the main rooms of your home, and make sure they have access to a bathroom, they have their own way in and out!

Or, as the most laid back option, rent out a bedroom to someone you trust and share the main spaces.

Obviously, giving up some of your square footage is a loss, but as long as they're helping you knock off a a percentage of your mortgage payment (ours pays over 20% of our monthly cost, and we don't miss the room!), you get to your end goals faster! Just like with any debt payoff, this decision is only for a time.

Make it official.

As an additional measure of communication and security for our family, we talked to someone else we know who owns rentals and got an official renters agreement, which we edited to fit our situation and had signed. That way, if there's ever a period of non-payment or something else that voids the contract, we have an official document that both parties signed, to reference. 

House Hacking is one way to make extra income, which can help you climb out of debt or move towards your retirement goals faster. 

What about your home? Is there a way you could make a third entrance work for your family?

thirty-nine + weeks: Celia Florence : a live birth story

Celia Florence was due seven days before my birthday. 

When I asked you on Instagram, thirty-three percent of you thought it would be cute to share a birthday with your baby, but I disagree. 

Partially, because I prefer to have a whole day (or week or month, whatever) to be celebrated myself, but also because I don't want to be sitting in a hospital bed, eating nothing, with an IV jabbed in the side of my right wrist (I'm a "tricky stick") on my birthday. When I looked at the on-call schedule for the week, the one doctor who I really disliked was working on her due date. We've never had an elective (non-medical) induction, but I spoke to my favorite doctor, and we set the date based on who was working the surrounding days. Then, once the date was set, I thought it was rather a cute date itself: February 11th, 2022. 2.11.22

At 4 a.m., with a Grandmother sleeping on the couch and our bags packed, we called Labor & Delivery and were met with a British nurse's unideal answer, "There are no hospital beds for now. Carry on your day as normal, and we'll call you if something changes." The day rolled on with no phone call, as we unpacked nature cabinet boxes in our sunroom, and soon we were sitting down as a family to lunch.

The night before, we had been reading with the girls the parable Jesus speaks in Luke 11:5-10, where the friend comes asking for something and won't stop knocking until his need is met. At lunch time we reviewed that story, asking God in prayer (again) for a hospital bed, soon. After lunch (even though they had said they would call us), I called them. I was met with the same response.

We were still at the dining room table with our three daughters, the remnants of a plate of veggies and seafood cooked in butter in front of me, ten minutes later when my phone rang. We could come if we ate something and came soon. Asking, seeking, knocking, and an answer to prayer, to share with our girls.

We brushed our teeth, dropped a van full of babies with my in-laws, and checked in to the hospital.

On Wednesday, I had been 3 cm at the OBGYN, and now, it was Friday afternoon. By the time they got the Pitocin started, it was 4:30 p.m., and I wondered if she'd join us before midnight. I went straight for the epidural (I don't like to feel labor), and after a couple of hours, they said I was 4 cm (7 p.m.) and the doctor broke my water.

I drank a lot of cranberry juice mixed with ginger ale, had a bowl of broth, and read a little bit (Magnolia Magazine and Habits of the Household) while my body did the work. As 11 p.m. neared, I felt the switch in my body, where the urge to push and the obligation to keep her inside until the doctor arrives clash hard. I rang for the nurses, and they came to check me.

The nurse checked me and said something like, "You're the same, honey. 4 cm. Let's try a new position."

I'm not sure what I said out loud, but I know that I shook my head a lot and got across this general message. No. Literally about to have this baby. She's going to come out soon, whether you're ready to catch her or not. It's time.

The other nurse said, "Let me confirm." and then, "Oh, no. She's complete. It's time."

The doctor was called, and Celia Florence came. One push, maybe two, but she came easily and gently.

She was 8 pounds and 10 ounces of baby and twenty-one inches long: our largest baby by far (Charlotte was the next biggest at 7 pounds 15 ounces). Thankful to God that He had given me the gift of ease in birthing babies, and there was no tearing or issues with her size.

The next day, our favorite doctor helped us get our ducks in a row to be ready to head home at the earliest allowed time. A little after midnight (now barely Sunday), we loaded Celia into Matt's truck and made the seven minute drive home to our own beds. In the morning, we made introductions to our other ladies, Felicity playing the kind big sister instead of the jealous one, something we'd been praying specifically for this pregnancy.

A house full of God-given-gifts. Welcome to the world, Celia Florence. We've always wanted you.

Baby Shower: Little Women

 “...the love, respect, and confidence of my children was the sweetest reward I could receive for my efforts to be the woman I would have them copy.” 

― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

As I was walking into the hallway from our bedroom on Saturday morning, Portia swept in, placing a hand on either side of my belly and said, with the lisp of a three-year-old, "Good morning, Celia! Today is your baby shower!"

My sister-in-law, Kayla picked the theme Little Women. Fitting, with the amount of little ladies we've added to our family. She based the meal off of their Christmas feast: oranges, oatmeal stuffed apples, bread, and sausage. Above our schoolroom fireplace she framed silhouettes she had cut of our girls' profiles, and then decorated around with winter berry vibes and plaid ribbon.

Both sides of my family joined together to celebrate Celia Florence with me in an intimate, at-home gathering. Technically, she's still supposed to have a month inside, but I've been having contractions already, so if the past is any indication of the future, I think my body is putting in the work up front so we can meet her long before Valentine's Day.

I'm almost bursting with words about the isolation and caution and emotion I felt this weekend, thinking about how no one will visit Celia in the hospital, every new face she meets will be masked, and six years ago there were one hundred women in a room celebrating Charlotte with expectation. Logically, I can't formulate the sentences into paragraphs, but the heaviness of it still needs to be expressed. They say it takes a village, but for the past couple of years there has been no village.

If you're wondering what a 4th daughter gets, on top of diapers and wipes, here's the round up!

1. Our first Hatch Sound Machine 

2. Our second Summer Video Monitor

3. A Little Women Framed Book Page

4. Our second White Crib Quilt

5. White Rope Baskets for Clothes

6. Oatmeal Diaper Caddy

7. A Carseat for Felicity to move into

8. A Bassinet, because the crib didn't fit in the laundry closet

For Sale (Part 5)

 

We had our Christmas card photoshoot scheduled for the Tuesday that the offers would be evaluated. When the photographer asked where we wanted to take pictures, I told her I wanted to head towards the house we had offered on, and Lord willing, take some pictures of our family in front of the house once we found out our offer was accepted.

Our whole week was like that. Psalm 81:10 says, "I am the LORD thy God which brought thee out of the land of Egypt; Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it." So, we actively took steps in faith that our offer would be accepted. We painted through every room of our house, cleaning, decluttering, and packing up boxes in our current home to get ready to put it on the market. We didn't look through the real estate apps to see if anything else interesting was up for sale. We sold the Camaro for extra cash towards the down payment. Matt tore up and replaced the deck (with help!) to get our backyard market ready.

Our mouths were open, ready for God to fill them. When my phone rang on Tuesday, I can honestly say there wasn't a piece of me that doubted. God was going to prove Himself bigger than cash offers and a bidding war. He was going to show Himself mighty to our family, our children, our realtor, friends, and the strangers who were invested in our journey online.

Our realtor summarized, "The cash offer sent in a month-old screenshot to prove funds. The sellers aren't comfortable with their offer...

I need to get you guys to pray for all of my houses! You've got it!"

God gave it to us: The direction to save for a down payment starting way back at the beginning of the year, the opportunity to offer on a home that was out of reach, and the winning bid when everyone was saying, "We don't have a shot."

It starts back before March, really. If God hadn't led us to pay off our first mortgage, and then worked out the timing in a way that only He could so we'd buy a cheap foreclosure January 2020 but then changed the market/scarcity/bidding wars so we'd get the maximum amount when we sold in summer 2020, and now our home is on the market for way more than we imagined we'd get a year and nine months later, we may have been able to take some credit; but, no, it was Him every step.

1st House: Bought for $109k . Sold for $179k.

2nd House: Bought for $191k. Selling for $300k.

Do you see how in 8 years, God took $109k and turned it into $300k, all while we got to live in and love on these houses?

So that $300k, plus the down payment God led us to save, will go towards the new house, and we will take on one last mortgage. Another part of the journey. A beautiful home to make ours and grow our babies in and host missionaries in and invite people into... Our forever home.

We have one full-price offer in, and rumor has it we're getting in a second offer today.

Someone on Instagram messaged me and said, "I'm not religious, but I told my husband, 'If this lady on Instagram gets this house, I'm gonna start praying!'"

Praise God for our mustard seed of faith and the mountains He moved to show Himself mighty!

Photography by Hannah Grace

For Sale (Part 4)

 

The other realtor had made a mistake. He had mixed up the houses he had on the market. There were two offers in on this home, but the home was not under contract. It never had been. The inspection scheduled for Friday was a different house. They were accepting offers. God had answered our prayers, and we had the chance to offer.

That day, we were out of state picking up materials for a building project our church is involved in. Matt had taken the day off, so we could drive as a family, load up this wood, and bring it back to the church. We were actively choosing to seek first God's kingdom, when he added this answer to prayer.

Here's a story I shared on Instagram when we found out:

Big faith. That's what God was giving us. That's the gift He was giving our girls. We believed, and He was helping our unbelief. We wrote up a full-price offer and asked for closing costs. We were on Cloud Nine.

They responded with, "Now that we have three offers, we're calling for Highest and Best. One of the offers is cash, and they're willing to come up to asking price. We'll give them til Tuesday to prove their funds (it was Friday)."

Our realtor explained the odds. To beat a cash offer, at this price point, we'd have to raise our offer by $75,000. I did the quick math. If we bought another house (that wasn't our forever home), and then moved again in 5-10 years, we'd be spending as much or more money total long term, so even though I could justify it logically, it was too much.

Matt was unmoved, "God has gotten us this far. We hold." We told them we'd cover closing costs, our realtor (and friend) gave up some of his commission to make our offer stronger, and we prayed until Tuesday.

During the waiting, God gave me the verses in Exodus 14:13-14: "And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will shew to you to day:... The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace."

While I was brushing Charlotte's hair that week, soft, blonde waves falling around her shoulders, she said to me, "Aren't you excited about the house, mom!? The kitchen is so big, we could feed a lot of people, and there's a lot of room for paper dolls, and I love the attic...!" I smiled at her and responded, "Yes! I love that house, Charlotte! But we aren't the only people who want it. Other people want to give them money for the house also." 

Charlotte thought for a moment, "Oh..."

And then with all the faith of a child she said, "But.. are they praying?"